Oh Mio Dio

It feels so good to have my site back. Oh, how I’ve missed serving you the gossip. But now I’ve returned and bitches, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me. For better or worse.

So whoa. Bart Bass wasn’t dead. Can you freaking believe it? I can’t. Bart told Chuck all about how he faked his death. Turned out, he had been in an actual car accident. But survived it. Who caused it? One of Bart’s competitors. You see Bart had some major information on the guy. Information that would put the man away. But Chuck didn’t understand. Why hadn’t his father just gone to the police like a normal person? Bart didn’t think it mattered since the competitor had started making scary threats against Lily and Chuck. Pretending to die was the only way Bart could truly protect his family. So he contacted his old friend, Diana Payne, who utilized her world contacts to keep him safe. She kept Bart informed about what was going on with his family. Diana even snuck Bart back into the country when Chuck needed blood after the car accident. Chuck had so many questions. But too bad for him, his time with daddy dearest was up. Bart had to go. If the man he was hiding from found out he were actually alive, he’d go after him or Chuck. Chuck thought this could all be fixed. So he called PI extraordinaire Andrew Tyler and told him that he recently found out someone was after his father before his death. Andrew needed to look into it ASAP. But Tyler said he couldn’t help Chuck with this. This was all years ago. Seemed like a waste of time. Oh no!

Meanwhile, Blair found out that Dan had lied to her about the summer program in Italy. He had told her that they had found someone else when in actuality he had turned it down. Blair didn’t get why Dan would do such a thing. He admitted that he was nervous about leaving her for the whole summer in NYC. You know, with Chuck and all. Blair said there was nothing to worry about! Take the offer. She didn’t want to stand in the way. Cuuuute!

                                        

Later on, back at the Waldorfs, Serena confessed to Blair that she had been acting as GG for the past few months. B was indeed furious. But only because S hadn’t let her in on the scheme! Blair would have loved to write posts and whatnot (you probs would have done a better job than S, no offense). Fortunately, it seemed like these two were still gonna be BFFs. Phew.

Blair went off for the day to replace the Le Mer eye cream she had borrowed from her mother. While out and about, Chuck found her. He needed to find a way to keep his father from leaving. And what did Blair do? She went with him. Ahh! Their first stop? To see Diana Payne. While waiting to talk to the Brit, Serena called Blair and told her that Dan had arrived at the penthouse with some news. Crap. Blair knew what she had to do so she left Chuck to do his business. C went in to see Diana and pleaded with her. She had to know who tried to kill his father. Please just tell him. Diana thought about it. And like any good UESer, she said if she told him, she’d need something in return…

When Nate found out Chuck was working on something with Diana, he was pissed. Because all N wanted was to get Diana out at The Spectator. Nate even threatened to tell everyone about her side job as a madam. But Diana thought that exposing her dirty little side job would embarrass Nate and his paper. She wasn’t going anywhere. Nate didn’t understand why Chuck was dealing with this annoying lady. But Chuck told his BFF he was working on a deal that’d make them all happy. There was a paper in London that needed a facelift and Diana agreed to take it over. All in exchange that her pimp job would never be found out. Therefore her reputation would be intact. Nate was furious! He wanted justice. Perhaps Lola could help him…

Diana finally gave up to Chuck who Bart’s competitor was. His name’s Mason Nevins. He’s got ties to organized crimes and likes twins. In fact, Diana had two of her girls paying him a visit that very day at The James Hotel. If someone were to catch Nevins in the act, it’d be bad. After all, Nevins was a family man. But then Diana got a call from a friend at the Times who knew all about the deal. Diana immediately took back everything she said. There was no way Chuck could use her girls. Deal was off! And so was Diana. WTF? Nate and Lola confessed to Chuck they had tipped off the lady at the Times. They couldn’t let Diana get away without consequences. And that’s when Chuck told them why he needed Diana so badly: his dad was alive and he wanted to get him out of hiding. Uh oh.

Blair arrived back at the penthouse and there Dan was ready to share his news. He talked to the people from the Rome program and Blair could come with him! They just needed to be interviewed first. Blair was a bit skeptical, but then gave in. A summer in Rome sounded fab! But first, Blair and Dan had to impress the interviewer! So much to do before he arrived. Although talk about a wrench in the plan when S texted Blair that Chuck was in serious trouble. Yikes. So what’d B do? She said she was going to go to pick up gelato for the Italian interviewer. Oh mio dio!

Blair knew Dan needed her to be at the interview. But she also knew Chuck needed her help. Decisions!! So B sent Serena back to the penthouse in her place. Yep, S pretended to be Blair. And boy, did she put on her best B. The interviewer totally bought it. Luckily for everyone, Dan and “Blair” got into the program. Woo hoo! Dan didn’t understand. Where the heck was his current girlfriend? Serena lied and said she was with Eleanor. But what do you know? Eleanor showed up and said she hadn’t seen Blair all day. Busted! Serena had to admit the truth. Blair was with Chuck. But he needed to trust her. Dan wasn’t so sure. I mean he did tell her he loved her and she didn’t say it back. Serena told him that Blair probably just needed time with that. However, the lie she was currently covering for was life or death. Then Serena admitted what the big secret was: Bart Bass was alive. And with that Dan was all, “whaaaaaat?”

                                                  

While S was BSing as B, Blair was working on helping Chuck. Since they couldn’t use Diana’s girls, they needed new ones to entrap Nevins. But who for the job? That’s when Lola stepped forward and volunteered herself. And who better to pretend to be her twin than Ivy. OMFG! In the hotel room, Blair instructed the prudes on what they were to do. They needed to handcuff Nevins to the bed. Preferably get him undressed before that. Then Chuck would burst in to take pictures. As the girls waited for the guy to show up, they practiced their poses. It was funny and sad at the same time! Although when there was a knock on the door, they were prepared. But it wasn’t Nevins at the door. It was, huh?, Andrew Tyler. The girls thought he was Nevins so they told him to get nekkid. But Andrew told them that Chuck had sent him. They were in danger and so was Bart. Nevins knew about their plan and he was on his way to see Chuck. They gotta go now. Hurry!

                                       

Or not. Outside the hotel, Blair told Chuck she saw Andrew Tyler get into the elevator. Chuck was confused. He hadn’t sent Andrew up there. Oh no. Chuck and Blair raced to the hotel room and sure enough Lola and Ivy were gone. ACK!!

Andrew Tyler took the girls to the Manor House. Unfortunately for him, Chuck, Blair and Bart showed up and confronted him (Lola had texted them where they were – good girl, you’re learning!). Turned out, Andrew Tyler had played a huge part in all this. He had gotten a lot of info about Nevins for Bart. But then Nevins threatened him and his family. Tyler had no choice but to turn. To prove his loyalty, he told Nevins where Bart would be the night of the car accident. How rude! Little did Andrew know but the police were there and they quickly arrested him. Now that the truth was out, looked like Bart would be sticking around. Yay!

In a change of heart, Nate decided to let Diana go off without ruining her reputation. She admitted to him that working at The Spectator with Nate was the happiest she’d ever been. Please let her leave with her name still intact. Don’t humiliate her. So Nate let her go. Goodbye, Diana Payne. Or whatever your real name is.

Blair was thankful to Serena for covering for her that day with the Italian interviewer as well as with Dan. Serena was happy to do it. But she thought that perhaps B needed to tell Dan she loved him. B said she wasn’t ready to say those words just yet. The truth was she wanted the next person she said them to to be the last.

Now that the police had Andrew Tyler’s confession, they could get Nevins. Thus Bart would be able to show his face to the world. Woo hoo! Bart told Chuck that he was proud of him for all that he’d done since he’d been “dead.” Aww. But suppose there was one person he needed to break this news to: Lily. Oh yeah! They had been going through a difficult time when Bart “died”, but they were technically married. OMG!!

At the Humphrey loft, Blair and Dan began planning their summer. Blair admitted there was nothing she wanted more than to go to Rome with her boyfriend. But then a blast went out. From yours truly. It was an entry from Blair’s diary, telling everyone who was really in her heart. Whoa! And trust me, there’s lots more where that came from. All courtesy of B’s BFF, Serena van der Woodsen.

Now that I have my site back it’s time to reclaim my glory. This is the first step. Hope you all are ready for the mayhem. I know I am. Xoxo Gossip Girl